Friday, December 4, 2009

Chapter 44: Flowers... Terrible!

I felt terrible accusing Susan Ellen of plagiarism, even though I was one hundred percent accurate.

The next day before work, I stopped at a grocery store to get her flowers. She accepted my apology when I reminded her that she was angry with me because I accused her of plagiarism. She thought getting her flowers was the nicest thing anyone has ever done.

"My husband doesn't even get me flowers," she admitted. She repeated that phrase several times throughout the day, despite the fact I've seen the phantom with the ponytail come in the house with flowers for her.

Oh, at this point I started calling her husband the phantom with the ponytail. I had realized a few weeks ago that he was always home in the basement and never came upstairs except to leave the house so he can get a taco (and obviously flowers to remind Susan Ellen that she was still married to him.)

Needless to say, I felt better that I was on Susan Ellen's good side again.

I have this issue that I can't feel settled if there's anyone who hates me. I think this is why, at that point, I continued to have terrible jobs, terrible friends, and reside in a terrible city in a terrible country in a terrible world in a terrible universe.