Sunday, September 14, 2008

Chapter 24

At the time, Susan Ellen's current client was an Emmy-winning TV star, known amongst Hollywood insiders to be a total douchebag. (I know that doesn't really narrow down the field, but this is the most I can give.)

She was performing her cellophane treatments on him. She met with him for two hours every night, including weekends. It seemed as if she was also his personal assistant, picking up his dry-cleaning, and, according to her, offering advice on which roles to take.

It's still the first day, mind you, and I'm still organizing all of her bookmarks into categories.

Around 5, Susan Ellen looked at her phone and said, "You need to leave right now."


"Go! Go!"

It was as if she put the clues together in her mind that I was some sort of assassin, forcing me to leave before I would murder her. If only I was…

She threw my purse and my shoes at me.

"I have to go to [D.B. Actor]'s house now. I totally forgot. I need to be there now. How long do you think it would take me to get to the Hollywood Hills?"

Are you kidding me? I'm the new one to LA here and I know at 5 pm to drive from the Palisades to the Hills in rush hour traffic would take an hour and a half.

She looked at me with pleading eyes, wanting me to say something to alleviate her stress.

"Probably about fifteen minutes."

"Okay. Good. You need to leave now. Get out of here."

I speedily walked through her garage, trying to get out of her way as quickly as possible, trying to end this horrible work day as quickly as possible.

Before I walked out her garage, she approached me with her arms open.

"Okay, sweetie, it was nice meeting you."

Holy cow, she wanted to hug me.

She grabbed my body and I patted her on the back.

"Thank you so much, sweetie. You're so beautiful. I love you. I'll see you next week. Bye!"

I darted out of her driveway and walked to my car.

She drove by, honked, and waved to me.

I waved back.

I got into my car and just stared into the yellow fog known as Los Angeles' atmosphere.

As I type this, I still cannot decide what is more shocking to me:

a.) The fact that all of these experiences with Susan Ellen happened to me one day...


b.) Susan Ellen was actually allowed behind the wheel.

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