Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Chapter 2



I never thought of LA having a Jewish section because I always believed the entirety of LA was the Jewish section. Now, I know you may ask me about the Latino population, but let me inform you of this:

Chances are the Latinos sleep in the guesthouses of the Jewish section.

Needless to say, LA does have a Tel Aviv close to Beverly Hills. The neighborhood is filled with synagogues, Kosher stores and Kosher plastic surgeons. Yes, even though the Jewish population in LA believes that eating meat and dairy as unnatural, they will gladly buy their face from Rubbermaid.

This is where my future boss-man lived. He was, indeed, an Orthodox Jew, even though he would jokingly refer to himself as a feminine cleansing product. I suppose Moses called Aaron a pussy every once in a while and had me wonder why National Lampoon never made a movie about that.

I walked into his office and the first thing I noticed were the boss-man’s diplomas on the wall. However, not one of them was from an accredited university. On the bottom of one it said “Page 1 of 1 www.checkwriting101freeonlinetutorial.com.” Most of the other schools were two week-long seminars held in Econo Lodges.

His apartment smelled like my grandma’s or my pediatricians.

1 comment:

Shannon said...

the bottom of my diploma says, "Send this to 15 people in 15 minutes or your dick will fall off."